Bueno!

I am beginning to realize that there is no room at the "water cooler" for me. I really don't watch much Network television at all. No 24, no Survivor, no Lost. When I do watch television (an increasingly rare occurrence), I have recently found myself watching:

1) Athletic events.
2) People preparing food.
3) A-Team and Frasier re-runs.

Strangely enough, though, this does not prevent me from surfing around the channels, looking for what I might be missing. And more often than not, what I stop at...what I am missing...is Univision.

For those of you who don't know, Univision is an entirely Spanish speaking channel targeted to Spanish-speaking Americans. One might think that someone who, in spite of over three years of classes, doesn't really understand much Spanish beyond the word "tocadisco" (record player...yes, sadly, the only Spanish I know is obsolete), would skip over Univision without giving it a second look.

Well, think again.

When I was in grad school, I discovered that this channel has some of the craziest, most enjoyable things on television...even though I have no idea what the people are saying. Granted, I never watch for longer than about five minutes...but every time I watch, I end up laughing or being puzzled. You can't say that about Lifetime...or CNN...or PBS...or, really, any station outside of TBN. Here is a small sampling of things I have seen on Univision:

1) People playing musical chairs...with toilets.
2) A game show involving somebody sticking their arms through a hole and trying to guess what they were feeling on the other side (a donkey, then a bowl of custard).
2b) Said game show is co-hosted by a puppet.
3) A Debbie-Gibson-style pop-song where all of the band members were wearing costumes topped off by enormous 4-foot heads painted to resemble certain animals (think the Milwaukee Brewer sausages). The cat played bass. The pig was on drums.
4) A riveting New Year's Eve party involving extended commentary from an astrologer, a man wearing leather pants, and a man on location in Times Square wearing a large sombrero.

How, truly, can you top that? When was the last time you saw a donkey on Spike, huh? So...God bless you, and gracias, Univision for your blessed randomness. May you live twice as long as "Desperate Housewives."